The longing to be loved

Often at the source of our unhappiness is a longing to be loved. To feel the soft embrace of tender holding.

The feeling of pain, isolation and separation is often at the core of suffering. This pain can be felt in the heart as a cry for help.

We might notice that we want someone or something to change so we can feel more connected.  We might seek to relive this pain of feeing unloved, not worthy by distractions and looking outside ourselves to another to relieve the pain. Yet this relief is often short-lived and can in fact create more pain as it arises from the source of trying to get rid of something that aches and hurts inside.

So for a moment try this simple practice.  Take a moment to look inside of yourself to the part that longs to be loved by another. Know that this longing is a pure deep heart calling and a powerful source of healing.   If you let go just for a moment the fixation on the other to relive this pain and longing for love and feel the very essence of longing to be loved in your heart. What does it feel like in your body? Notice the ache, the pain of separation. You might connect to loneliness, for just a few seconds hold the loneliness in your arms. Let the loneliness break your heart into a tender care for all that longs for love and connection.  You might even touch your heart with your hand as a warm caring concern.

You could even try speaking to this part of you, “darling I know you are suffering”  notice if you have any resistance to soft caring touch to these parts of yourself. Maybe a hard bitter place arise at the thought of being soft and kind, that judges anything that is soft and caring. Notice your relationship to love and receiving and opening to tenderness.

To open to love is one of the most challenging aspect of being human. 

We have learnt to defend and keep ourselves safe. Past hurts, rejections, feelings of shame and betrayal can create armour around the soft vulnerable places that feel unworthy of compassion.

Ask your hurt, what do you need? Is it possible to offer love to the places within that are in pain?
Do you turn your back on the places that hurt the most?
What would your life look like if the love you longed for was actually within you?

Open your arms to the pain of your longing and you will be embraced by the gentle rain of compassion in your heart that transforms and heals.

natalie brooks